When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.

The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.

We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.