My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.