I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire.

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.