The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of the blood.

What is more mortifying than to feel that you have missed the plum for want of courage to shake the tree?

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast.

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

It takes a great man to give sound advice tactfully, but a greater to accept it graciously.

Happiness is a wine of the rarest vintage, and seems insipid to a vulgar taste.

The old know what they want the young are sad and bewildered.

How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.