Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.

Communism is like one big phone company.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.