I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.