Never get married in college it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up.

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.