Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.