If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

I am two with nature.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.