I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.