I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

Never order food in excess of your body weight.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

God created man, but I could do better.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.