Time is generally the best doctor.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves most things, in fact, are better in the morning.

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it.

I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.

In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival.

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down - at least he did until he dropped dead.

Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell.