Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide he exposes himself.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.