Quotes by Mark Twain

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.