I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

All government, of course, is against liberty.

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.