Quotes by Dave Barry

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.