If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG.

There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace.

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

When you are fitted in a racing car and you race to win, second or third place is not enough.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.