Presents don't really mean much to me. I don't want to sound mawkish, but - it was the realization that I have a great many people in my life who really love me, and who I really love.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday.

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.