Either you run the day or the day runs you.
Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.
Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.
The dog that trots about finds a bone.
Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.
Be thine own palace, or the world's thy jail.
If you're going through hell, keep going.
Only the educated are free.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
Be gentle to all and stern with yourself.
Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny.