A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.