Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.