Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.