If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.

People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own.

It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations.

Everybody has basically the same family, it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next.

Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.

You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog.

I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli?

There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.

In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich.