Quotes by Craig Ferguson

I realized women and humor were linked very closely.

I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'

If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.

I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think.

The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman.