Life's too short when you find yourself sitting in a car for four hours every day trying to get from East L.A. to West L.A. to Hollywood and then back to East L.A.

I was an economics major in college, and every summer after school, I would drive my car from California, from Claremont men's college at the time, to New York. And I worked on Wall Street.

Divorced men are more likely to meet their car payments than their child support obligations.

I'm carded for R-rated movies. And I get talked down to a lot. When I try to go rent a car or buy an airplane ticket or other stuff adults do, I get 'Okaaaaaay, honey.' I remember when I was 18, getting crayons in a restaurant.

When I climb into my car, I enter my destination into a GPS device, whose spatial memory supplants my own. I have photographs to store the images I want to remember, books to store knowledge and now, thanks to Google, I rarely have to remember anything more than the right set of search terms to access humankind's collective memory.

I own stock, and I also insure my car with Geico.

My next adventure will be being in a car with Mischa at the wheel.

A few years ago I was at a party and this guy threw me over his shoulder, ran across the street, put me in his car, and stuck his tongue in my mouth.

People go to car races to watch the crashes.

Everybody has a gun in their car in Detroit.