I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.