Quotes by Johnny Carson

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.