Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.