I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.

If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.

When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'