You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.